DDLC: Abridged
by Lucas The Cool Teenager
Summary: An abridged version of DDLC, you know?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Literally a parody / abridged version of Doki Doki Literature Club. Don't be surprised if it's kinda similar.

DATE CREATED: 6/28/18

Chapter 0

"Heeeeeeeeyyyyyy!" It was a girl. She sounded so fucking annoying.

"Awwww, fuck..." Lucas said as he was facepalming.

As the weirdo was running to him, Lucas kept thinking, "She is so annoying... then again, she's my childhood friend.."

Sayori stopped running as she was literally right next to Lucas. Who knew she could run so fast?

"S-sorry... I-I finally caught up to you this time!" Sayori said as she was catching her breath.

"...You overslept again, didn't you?" Lucas said.

"Hahhh... hahh... yes..." Sayori kept trying to catch her breath.

"Hmm.. you know, when you were running, you were showing a ton of leg." Lucas said.

"What are you... huff.. tallking about? Ehehe~" Sayori said.

"Nevermind. Anyways, I stopped. For you. But that doesn't mean I love you, or even have feelings for you, 'cuz I don't." Lucas said, as he rolled his eyes.

"Awww, that's mean, Lucas!" Sayori started to whine.

"I don't want people thinking that we're a couple! It's almost like you want people to think that." Lucas says.

"Fine, fine. But don't forget, you stopped walking. For me~" Sayori says.

"Uh-huh."

"Perhaps you aren't mean after all. Ehehe~" Sayori says.

 _"Thot."_ Lucas says to himself. "Well, shall we get going?"

"Of course." Sayori says as they start walking to school.

Then, the weirdo asked Lucas the question that made Lucas want to kill himself. Or rather, _hang_ himself.

"So, Lucas. Have you considered joining any clubs?" Sayori said, smiling.

"You actually fucking did it. Sayori, I told you already. I am not interested in joining any clubs." Lucas said.

"B-but you promised! You said you would join a club this year!" Sayori said. It sounded like she wanted to pout so bad.

"Really? I must have been... uh..." Lucas gulped. "Drunk."

"I promise, you weren't! You said so yourself in one of our conversations." Sayori said.

 _"You ditzy S.O.B."_ Lucas said in his mind.

"I just want you to learn how to socialize, or have some kind of skill before college." Sayori frowns.

"What the fuck? What am I, retarded?" Lucas said.

"N-no, your happiness means a lot to me. It's just that I don't want you to become a NEET." Sayori said.

"I should scold the fuck out of you for saying that. But, you're probably not as happy as me, so..."

"S-sorry.. but Lucas, you trust me right?" Sayori said, wanted to cry for poor Lucas being so mean.

"Th- I mean, uh, Sayori. Don't worry about me, ok? I'll look at a couple clubs if it'll make you happy." Lucas said.

"Can you at least try this time?" Sayori said.

"Ehhh. Sure, why not." Lucas said.

 _"Why do I let myself get lectured by a thot?"_ Lucas said.

FIN.

 **A/N: Hope you enjoyed. If you did, leave a review, maybe favorite it, you know? Helps me out. Also, like I said in the beginning, this is gonna be an abridged version of DDLC.** **Finally, I promise the next chapters are gonna be longer.**

Lucas will return...


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you for the review, Fnafplayer10! I really appreciate what you said. And yes, the ending was inspired by you. Anyways, this is Chapter 2 of DDLC Abridged. Enjoy!**

 **DATE CREATED: 6/28/18**

 **Chapter 1**

Lucas is still in class, even after the class is over now. Yeah, I know. Pretty weird, huh?

As Lucas was picking up his things, he began to start staring at the wall like a complete idiot.

 _"Hmm... clubs, huh?_ _I think I should be inconsiderate of Sayori's feelings and join the anime club.. I like anime, after all.."_ Lucas said in his mind.

"Hellllooooo?" Sayori said, as she noticed Lucas was just blankly staring at that god damn wall.

"Huh? Oh, hey Sayori." Lucas said. _"Was Sayori here this whole time..?"_ "Geez Lucas, sometimes you can be even worse than me. I was here the whole time. I was expecting you to come out of the classroom, but it seems like you were spacing out, so I came in to get now." Sayori said, as she chuckles a bit.

"Honestly Sayori, you shouldn't wait for me if it's gonna make you late for your own club." Lucas said, as he rolled his eyes.

"Well, I just wanted to get you, because... Ehehe..." Sayori said, chuckling sheepishly.

"Sayori, if it's about the club..." Lucas sighs.

"It's about the club!" Sayori stops Lucas mid-sentence.

"FUCK!" Lucas groans. "I told you already, for like, the second time.. I am _not_ joining your club!"

Sayori sniffles. "M-meanie!"

"Yeah well, I'm going to the anime club. See ya!" Lucas says, slowly walking out.

"Awww, come on, Lucas!" Sayori began to whine and pout. You know, so Lucas could cave in and join her dang club.

"Why do you want me to join so bad, anyway?" Lucas says, stopping in his tracks.

"W-well... I kinda told the club yesterday that someone was joining. Ehehe..." Sayori said.

"And that someone is...?" Lucas says.

"You, silly." Sayori said, smiling.

"Aghhhh... fine. But there better be cupcakes." Lucas said.

"There will be cupcakes. Ehehe~" Sayori says.

Lucas jumps up a bit, realizing his weakness for cupcakes. "You're not lying, are you?" Lucas says.

"Would I lie to you?" Sayori said, with a smirk on her face.

"Probably. But I don't care. Let's just go to this damn club already." Lucas said, wanting to jump for joy.

"Yes! Let's go~!" Sayori said, ready to leave the musky class.

 _"Please don't fucking embarrass me when we get here..."_ Lucas said in his mind.

They leave the classroom, and they began walking. Lucas looked so disappointed, but a bit happy at the same time. And of course, the ditzy Sayori was happy that Lucas was joining her club.

FIN.

 **A/N: I'm so sorry that this chapter was short. I promise you, the next's chapter gonna (hopefully) be long. Well, longer than these 2 chapters combined. But anyways, if you enjoyed this, please leave a review and favorite it** , **that helps me out a ton. See you guys in the next one!**

Lucas will return...


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey guys.** **Gonna make this author's note short and sweet. I love you guys (and gals), and enjoy. See? It was literally short AND sweet. Enjoy.**

 **DATE CREATED: 6/29/18**

 **Chapter** **2**

Lucas and Sayori stop walking once Sayori opens the door. Quite an energetic girl. She's still the ditzy one, though.

"Everyone! We got a new member!" Sayori says to everyone.

"Psst. Dipshit." Lucas says in Sayori's ear. "Don't call me a fucking new member." Lucas then glances around the room.

Sayori then ignore Lucas, cause she thinks that he is grumpy. After all, he _did_ sell his soul for a cupcake, so... I wouldn't be surprised.

"Ah, welcome to the Literature Club. It's a pleasure meeting you here. Yuri says.

Lucas then glances his eyes on what he thinks is the most beautiful girl he's ever seen. _"Woahhh. She's hot."_ Lucas says, in his mind.

"You know, Sayori always says nice things about you." Yuri says.

Lucas tried his best to not sound like a douche. At least, around this girl. Little did he know, she was a dandere.

"Ewww, seriously? You brought a boy?" Natsuki says.

Lucas turns arouns to see Natsuki the tsundere.

 _"Wow, what a greeting. Never knew there was another way to say nice to meet you."_ Lucas says in his mind, as he glares at Natsuki.

"If it isn't Lucas. Welcome to the club!" Monika says.

Lucas then stares at Monika.

 _"Oh my god. I actually... kinda like this club. It's full of..."_ He looks at Natsuki a bit. _"women."_

"The hell are you looking at? If you have to say something, say it." Natsuki says, as she noticed that Lucas was staring at her for a bit.

"Natsuki... be nice.." Yuri says.

Lucas looks at Yuri, surprised a bit. _"I love you."_

"Hmph." Natsuki says, as she is folding her arms.

 _"Hmm.. so the salty girl, is someone I don't recognize. Same with the.. rather shy one."_ Lucas says in his mind.

"Just ignore her, Lucas. You know, when she gets like that." Sayori whispers to Lucas, and then she turns around toward the other girls.

Sayori clears her throat. "Anyways, this is Natsuki." She points at Natsuki, and then at Yuri. "This is Yuri. The smart one in the club."

"D-don't say that!" Yuri says, stuttering.

"Hm. Well, it's nice to meet you two, I guess." Lucas says, still acting like a douche.

"I'm guessing you already know Monika, don't ya?" Sayori says, smirking a bit.

"Of course. It's great to see you again, Lucas." Monika says, smiling.

"Well, we barely know each other. Even though she was in my class last year, you know? She was pretty popular. But I'm way out of her league, you know?" Lucas chuckles sheepishly.

"Hmm. Come sit down, Lucas! I made room just for you, so you can sit next to me or Monika." Sayori said, pulling up a chair for Lucas to sit down. "I'll get the cupcakes!"

"Hey, dipshit, I made the cupcakes, I'll go get 'em." Natsuki says, leaving the room so she can get her cupcakes.

"You know, Natsuki isn't so bad." Lucas said, trying not to laugh.

"Ehehe... yeah.." Sayori said.

"Well then, how about I go make some tea as well?" Yuri says, leaving the room as well.

The desks have been formed to represent a table. Monika and Sayori both sit down. Lucas felt a bit uncomfortable, but he decided to sit next to Sayori.

Natsuki marches back to the table with the cupcake tray in her hands. She then places it on the table.

"..Ready?" Sayori says to everyone.

She lifts off the foil on it, revealing a dozen scrumptious cupcakes.

"Ta-daaaa~!" Natsuki says.

 _"Who says ta-da after... nevermind."_ Lucas says to himself.

"They're so cute~" Natsuki says.

"What the fuck? Who actually says that?" Lucas says to Natsuki.

Natsuki then shushes him.

"I didn't know you were so good at baking, Natsuki." Monika says.

"Well, ehehe... you know." Natsuki says.

Lucas then raises his hand. "N-no, we don't know." Lucas said, stuttering a bit.

"Q-quiet!" Natsuki said. "Just hurry up and pick one, all of you!"

Sayori first grabs one, then Monika, and then Lucas. Sayori takes a bite of it.

"Mmm... MMM!! It's so.. scrumptious!" Sayori says, as her mouth is full. She also as icing all over her mouth.

Lucas looks at the cupcake. It had whiskers and white icing.

Natsuki is staring at Lucas, probably waiting for him to take a bite.

 _"Is she looking at me? ...Stop looking at me. Stop it right now!"_ Lucas says in his mind. Realizing what is happening, he takes a bite of the cupcake.

"Mmm.. this cupcake ain't bad. It's actually... good." Lucas said.

"Hmph." Natsuki said. _"Don't thank me."_

"Thank you, Natsuki." Lucas says.

 _"SHIT!"_ Natsuki says. "Why are you thanking me? It's not like I made 'em for you or anything!"

"It's fine, Natsuki. I don't care if you did." Lucas said.

"W-well, maybe I did.. you never know!" Natsuki says.

"Mkay." Lucas says, ignoring Natsuki's logic.

Yuri then returns with a few teacups and a teapot. She then places a teacup in front of everyone and then places the teapot next to the cupcake tray.

"You're allowed to keep a teaset in here?" Lucas says.

"Of course. The teachers gave us permission." Yuri says.

"Cool." Lucas says.

"Don't worry, Lucas. Yuri's just trying to impress you." Monika says.

 _"To be honest, she doesn't have to."_ Lucas says.

"W-what!? T-that's not true.." Yuri says, as she's looking away.

"Look, Yuri, I'm not interested in tea or reading.. but you know, I enjoy tea." Lucas says.

"Ah, g-good to know.." Yuri says, faintly smiling.

 _"... Monika's been quiet. Wonder if she's gonna say anything."_ Lucas says, in his mind.

"So, Lucas, what made you join the club?" Monika said, smiling.

 _"God damnit.."_ Lucas says to himself. "Well, uh..." Lucas kept stopping himself because he was embarrassed. He didn't want to tell Monika the real reason why he joined. "Cupcakes." Lucas said to Monika.

"Well then." Monika says.

Monika knew that he was lying.

"It's okay, Lucas. Don't be embarrassed. We'll make sure you'll feel right at home." Monika says.

"Monika, I'm curious, man. You could have done anything, but you decided to start a club. Why? You could have been, like a board member or something." Lucas said.

Monika chuckles a bit. "Well, I've always hated the politics around the major clubs, you know? I'd rather personally make something special out of it." Monika said.

"Monika's awesome!" Sayori says.

Yuri nods in agreement.

"Never knew it was this hard to start a new club." Lucas says.

"Well, you couldsay that." Monika says. "Whenever people think of literature, they'll think it's boring as shit. And not a lot of people are interested in working to start something new, you know? You'd have to work hard to make people think you're fun and worthwhile. It also makes school events, such as the festival, more significant. But I'm sure that we can make this club grow, before we graduate. Right, everyone?" Monika says.

"Yeah!" Sayori says.

"We can do it." Yuri says.

"You already know~!" Natsuki says.

 _"Hmm.. a thot, a dandere, and a tsundere. Oh yeah, and just Monika. Each different girls, with the same goal. That's probably why they_ _didn't mind a new member joining."_ Lucas says to himself.

"So, what do you like to read?" Yuri says, being curious.

"Well.. I like manga." Lucas says.

"..Comic books are nice. But you're not much of a reader, I guess." Yuri says.

"Well, that can change, you get me?" Lucas says, clearly not thinking. "Well, uh... what about you, Yuri?"

"Mm.. I like novels. The type with tons of creativity and craftsmanship.

Lucas began thinking to himself as Yuri was going on. She was very passionate about her reading.

 _"It's weird... Yuri was so shy and timid the minute I walked in, but now she's..._ _well, she's beautiful, so... bonus points, I guess."_ Lucas says, in his mind.

"...Anyways, I've read a lot of horror stories lately." Yuri says.

"What? That was something I was not expecting." Lucas says.

"Well, if a story takes me to another world, I just can't put it down, even if I tried." Yuri says.

"...Manga takes me to another world." Lucas says.

"S-still... not much of a reader if you read comic books." Yuri says.

 _"Ahh, you son of a-- If you weren't pretty, I swear.."_ Lucas mutters to himself.

"Ugh, horror.. I hate it." Natsuki says.

"W-why's that?" Yuri says.

"I just do." Natsuki says.

"Yeah, you like to write about cute things." Monika smiles.

"What? What gives you that idea?" Natsuki says.

Monika then shows Natsuki a paper. "You left a piece of paper behind. You were working on a poem called-"

Natsuki stopped her mid-sentence. "S-shut it! And give that back!!"

Monika chuckles. "Ok, ok~" She then gives the paper back to Natsuki.

"I'm not... you know... different.. but everything you do is so cute, like you~" Sayori says, sounding like she's trying to tease her.

"W-what!? I'm not cute!!" Natsuki says, blushing.

"Wait a minute, you write haikus?" Lucas says, trying to mess around with Natsuki.

"Poems!! Not haikus!!" Natsuki says, not realizing that Lucas is just messing around. "And sometimes, but why do you care?"

"You know, I can't tell if you're salty, or if you're edgy, or if you're just a bitch." Lucas says. "Whew, got that out of my chest. But anyways, I think the fact that you write haikus is pretty awesome. I also think you should share one sometime."

"Hell no. I'm not gonna do that. Ever." Natsuki says. "You probably wouldn't like 'em..."

"Are you kidding me? I love reading haikus!" Lucas says.

"Poems!!!" Natsuki says, getting annoyed with Lucas.

Lucas chuckle a bit. "So, not a very confident writer yet? Or are you just not... _developed_ yet?" Lucas smirked.

Natsuki nods.

"I understand how Natsuki feels. Also, Lucas, it takes more than just confidence. You'd have to be willing to open up to many people." Yuri says.

 _"Yeah, like how you opened up the gateway to my heart? Mmm.. no, too corny."_ Lucas says. "Well, Yuri, do you have any experience? With writing, of course."

Yuri nods a bit.

"Well, if I were you... actually, you wouldn't do that. Seriously though, you should share some of your work, maybe you can help Natsuki with her scriptophobia or whatever."

Yuri says nothing.

"Welp, Yuri has scriptophobia too.." Lucas says.

"Awww, but I wanted to read everyone's works." Sayori says.

"Aww, that's so damn cute but I don't care!" Lucas says.

"Everyone! I have an idea~" Monika says.

Everyone looks at Monika, curious to hear what she has to say.

"Everyone shall go home and write a poem! Then, we'll share 'em with each other. Got it?" Monika says.

"W-well.." Natsuki says.

"Let's do it!" Sayori says.

"If we do this, perhaps we can all get along. Isn't that right, Lucas?" Monika says, glaring at Lucas.

"Finally! I have the fucking spotlight. Technically I never said I'd join this club. You know, dipshit over there..." He points at Sayori. "..convinced me to stop by, but... I still never made my decision."

The girls all stare at Lucas.

"I-I still have to... uh... decide." Lucas says, chucking softly.

"I-I thought..." Yuri says.

"I don't give a-" Natsuki says, as Lucas stops her mid-sentence.

"W-well.. damn it! I'll join the damn Literature Club! Just stop staring at me!" Lucas says, rolling his eyes.

The ditzy, carefree Sayori jumps for joy, and hugs Lucas.

"I'm so happy~" Sayori says.

"Agh... h-help.." Lucas says.

Yuri smiles. "Y-you scared me for a moment."

"Well, you are now an offical member of the Literature Club!" Monika says.

 _"Don't make me regret this, Sayori.."_ Lucas says, as he looks a bit annoyed. "Well, thanks...?"

"All right, everyone! The club meeting is officially over! Don't forget, we all have to write a poem and then we'll have to share it tomorrow." Monika then glares at Lucas. "I'll be looking forward for your poem, Lucas. Ehehe~"

Everyone but Lucas and Sayori leave the room.

"So, Lucas, ready to go?" Sayori says.

"Sure, I'm in a good mood. Why not?" Lucas says.

Lucas and Sayori both leave the classroom and now they are on their way home. Lucas keeps thinking about the 4 girls back and forth.

FIN.

 **A/N: Enjoyed it? Leave a review and favorite it. And I'll see you in the next one.**

Lucas will return...


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